What Is the Game of Life?

Hi, I’m Paul Krismer, your happiness expert, and my bookkeeper has made some mistakes on my end of the year income statements. Some of my expenses that are in Canadian dollars have been listed as American dollars, and now I’ve lost confidence in the whole of her bookkeeping. I grip a little tighter, a little bit more anxious. And the person I’ve had the longest relationship with in my entire life, the person I love the most, has just been given a scary bit of medical news. She has a big tumor, and my son, who’s far away from me in France studying, has been really sick this week. He’s been making inquiries about, you know, how sick do you have to be before you go to the hospital, and I grip a little tighter.

Someone whose opinion of me matters maybe more than anyone else’s, maybe too much, is unhappy with me this week and finding shortcomings in the way I am, and I grip a little tighter, anxious. Then yesterday, I was late for hockey and I got on the five-lane freeway. The speed limit is 65 miles an hour and my sports car comfortably cruises at 80. I see something going on in the road ahead of me and there’s traffic being diverted to fewer lanes. As I pass, I see that there’s a single vehicle accident. The car’s unrecognizable, broken metal, burned out, the kind of accident you know that no one walked away from alive. A few more miles down the road, my grip lets go. You see, because you can’t play the game of life without being close to your own death, and seeing that wreck made me remember who I am relative to the game, and that’s what this week’s video is all about.

As a coach, public speaker, and best-selling author, I teach topics just like this one all around the world. So, stay tuned and I’ll give you practical tools that you can use to make both yourself and those around you both happier and more successful. Not much in life is certain, is it? Right, we kind of want to think that we’re creating security and that we’re safe, but you’re not safe. But one thing I can tell you for sure is, you’re gonna die. You can’t keep that from coming and visiting you at some point in your life, and you don’t know when.

Any illusions that you make to try to create security in your life, if you say, “Oh, I want to have a few million dollars in the bank so that I can feel secure,” or if you say, “Oh, I just want the perfect lover who’s relentlessly kind and steadfast, you know, then I’ll feel good and safe,” or if it’s that you are going to work hard and having the right diet and exercise so you can be fit and therefore you’ll be healthy and secure. Well, delusion, delusion, delusion. You are not safe, you’re gonna die. There’s only a few things that are certain in life: birth and death, praise and at times, you’re gonna blame. You’re going to have gain and for sure, you’re at times going to have a sense of loss.

These dualistic natures of the game that you’re in, the game of life, are the only thing I can promise you are true, and that ultimately you’ll die. And so, this life that we sometimes get into is all about striving and we’re gripping, we’re holding on tight trying to make the game succeed. We want to win, and to win in life is a kind of a futile pursuit. That doesn’t mean you don’t play the game. The game can be a lot of fun. You want to make it the best game you can possibly have and in order to do that, you need to sing the song that you’re here on earth to do and not get too obsessed with security and the externalities of life and the contrast between gain and loss and praise and blame in any one given circumstance. You just want to make sure you sing your biggest song, your best, most delightful song, the one that you were put on this earth to sing.

Many years ago, I was playing pickup beer league hockey and I was on the bench between shifts and suddenly there was a commotion in the opposing team’s bench. Before long, we realized there was a very serious medical emergency. A man about 35 years of age went into cardiac arrest and fortunately, there were emergency personnel on the hockey ice with us and immediately this man got excellent emergency care. He’s about 35, has children, an important job, a role in the community, and in spite of the interventions, that was his last day on earth. He died there in the hockey rink.

You don’t know your measure of time. What measure is allotted to you is an unknown. It could be decades from now, or it could be that today’s your last day. And that could be very scary, but it’s true. So let’s be rational about it and see that that’s the case. So, you need to sing your song while you can. Today may be your last day. This external game, all the considerations and worries and desire for security, it’s just a game. Play it well, enjoy it, have fun with it, but make sure you sing your song. Don’t hold on too tight to the externalities of the game. Have fun, pursue your best life.