Dangerous Happiness Traps You MUST Avoid!

Hi, I’m Paul Krismer. I’m your happiness expert and this week is all about challenging the ways that we’re junkies. And, you know, I know that sounds really alarming, but most of us have certain addictions, and they come with the short-term pleasures that dopamine gives us. There’s good things about it and also a whole bunch of dangers. So this video is to explain how dopamine works and how maybe we can avoid the trap of just chasing after highs over and over again, so stay tuned.

As a coach, public speaker, and best-selling author, I teach topics just like this one all around the world. So, stay tuned, and I’ll give you practical tools that you can use to make both yourself and those around you both happier and more successful. Hey, last week, I talked all about serotonin. So if you didn’t see that video, it’s got a different kind of basic primate drive that makes us want to get serotonin. It’s basically about social status whereas dopamine, on the other hand, is about physical pleasures: sensory pleasures, touch, taste, hearing, scene, and smelling. And when we get things that make us feel that dopamine rush, it’s an instant kind of happiness.

Think eating chocolate, pretty innocent way to get a high, but it’s also the same mechanism that causes us to become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, and cocaine. All that kind of stuff is that we get this instant release and rush of dopamine which makes us feel fantastic. And then, in order to feel fantastic again, we need another hit. Of course, we all get the dangers of a cocaine addiction or other kinds of substance abuse. But the interesting thing in our society, of course, is that we’re all a little bit subject to these types of short-term pleasures as a way of masking pain or at least feeling good. You know, that’s the problem with overeating or too much stimulus from the buzz that comes out of our computer or the new stimulating, beautiful person to look at on Instagram. That kind of thing, they’re all giving us little dopamine rushes.

And there’s nothing in and of themselves wrong with these. It’s that we can find that we become habituated to constantly needing that little rush. We’re too often reaching for our phone to get the little blast from social media. The tricky thing about sensory highs is that they don’t last long. Like, think of eating chocolate cheesecake. The first slice of it is fantastic, and the second slice isn’t all right, but the third slice, if I was kind of forcing you to eat it, it could be too much. You’d be nauseated, and you wouldn’t be getting any pleasure from it. Or put your favorite song on, you know, a great hit by the Beatles, and play that same song all day long, and you’ll get zero pleasure. You’ll wish someone would turn the music off.

So that’s the problem with short-term pleasures is that they give us a high, and then it dissipates relatively quickly. So we need something more, and we get more pleasure, and we need something more and more, and we got this up and down desire. That’s, you know, why cigarettes are so addictive is that you get the high, and 20 minutes later, the high is gone, and you need another high. So the trick, amongst other things, is to look for other hormonal ways of being happy. Oxytocin being an example, which comes from connection with humans, physical touch, a certain quality of relationship, certain intimacy with our loved ones, all those things give a good, meaningful kind of pleasure rush.

Endorphins are another one, and endorphins often come from things that are high intensity. So that’s why we get runners high. They get endorphins from that. It can be dangerous in its own way if we’re masking pain in our lives by doing extreme sports, for example, or people who go and just push their bodies harder when they’re in a depressed state. It’s good to a certain extent, and it’s also dangerous. But it is another source of happiness. So if you’re getting too many dopamine pleasures, then go pursue them from other ways, including endorphins. The main, easiest way to go is to just push your body kind of hard, get your heart rate up, and then also serotonin, which we talked about last week, is a good way to get another kind of happiness in our lives. And serotonin can come from often a sense of accomplishment, often has to do with social status rewards.

So if I feel like I’m really achieved something great, then I get a little serotonin rash. And then, I guess finally, I’d suggest to you this: that dopamine, by its very nature, is a really short-term reward. So I might have a goal. I’m going to go to the fridge, I’m going to get that chocolate cheesecake, I’m going to eat it. I’m going to get the reward, short-term goal, I accomplish it, I get happy for a little bit. But maybe, put that in perspective and say, well, what medium-term and long-term goals can I pursue? And those necessarily will not be dopamine based. And so if you’re thinking about a medium-term goal or a long-term goal, in and of itself, the thinking is good. The activity, if it can put you in a state of flow, is good. And then, the sense of achievement is good when you accomplish the goal.

All of those things are not dopamine rushes where we’re looking for getting our crack hit to feel good instantly and then only to be disappointed that it goes away relatively quickly. So, there’s a little bit on the chemicals that make you happy. I hope this was a helpful video. If you like this kind of content, click the like button and share it with your friends and family, and you make the world a little bit happier too. Thanks so much for watching. Bye for now.