Healing Trumpism — Toxic Masculinity

What does this post-election temper tantrum in the White House really mean? What’s it telling us? Well, it’s certainly not anything particularly new. Like we’ve seen so many behaviors from Donald Trump before that this kind of reactionary immaturity is not a big, big surprise. What the world is essentially witnessing is a four-year-old having an emotional outburst. Where does this type of behavior come from? What does it say about masculinity, and you know, what the heck do we do about this kind of stuff? Stay tuned, that’s what this video is all about.

As a coach, public speaker, and best-selling author, I teach topics just like this one all around the world. So stay tuned, and I’ll give you practical tools that you can use to make both yourself and those around you both happier and more successful. So this video is not about Donald Trump specifically. It’s about masculinity writ large and, you know, Donald Trump’s never been about a whole lot. He didn’t stand for anything, he’s been a Democrat in his past, and when it was to his personal advantage, he became a Republican. You know, he’s never adhered closely to Republican values. He’s not about small government, preserving the environment, or fiscal responsibility, certainly none of those things. Instead, he’s kind of been all about opposition, and being oppositional. That’s attracted a certain considerable number of the electorate to him. You know, he’s been oppositional to all kinds of things, whether it’s the quote-unquote “deep state” or Washington insiders, the Paris Climate Accord, you know, radical leftists, even celebrity rivals that he’s taken on. It’s been kind of an interesting way to simply be about the things you’re opposed to and not standing for much except sloganism, like “Make America Great Again”.

You know, he’s not alone, and millions of Americans have joined in with him. This out of touch from normal politics system, where he’s angry, and hateful, vengeful, and complete with exaggerated name-calling, it’s an unusual way for us to see an American president, and we have to reflect on, you know, what is this really saying about us? What is it is it saying about us as a society? You know, he’s a racist, he’s misogynistic, he’s clearly deeply angry, and he has, and continues to have, no real regard for truth and fairness. And this post-election period is demonstrating that again in a major, major way. And we have a pretty loose sense of normalcy for ethical politics, but even with our loose normality, Trump has just taken it to an extreme end.

You know, he whines, and he complains, that he’s always attacking somebody, and he’s throwing these angry tantrums, and it’s as if what he’s exhibiting is what we often refer to as toxic masculinity. And his huge following out there, his electorate, reflects that to greater and lesser degrees. They have the same tendencies, and I want to come out, I want to condemn it, I want to hate it, I want to fight that kind of rot in politics, and stand opposed to that kind of masculinity in general. You know, I want to stand opposed to people who traffic and outrageous conspiracy theories and kind of a fabricated alternative facts that has become now something that is a thing. We call those lies, but we have to wait, we have to slow down a little bit, because to condemn him with toxic hate is to, in fact, engage in those same reprehensible behaviors. So, how do we help heal the bridge between these deeply divided political rivalries? Well, we actually, we have to love it, we have to love them, and nurture them.

And that doesn’t mean that we let them get away with the things that have gone wrong. Trump may have to answer to all kinds of significant legal challenges once he leaves offices, and that’s right and appropriate. We can be loving and nurturing but still make people face natural consequences for their behaviors. But we do need to look at the product of our own society that has created a Donald Trump. You know, it’s poor parenting, it’s long-standing social conditioning, we need to see the emotionally frightened and unloved four-year-olds that have become these representatives of toxic masculinity, of wounded masculinity. And all the people who supported Trump, in some ways, have endorsed that version of masculine energy.

So, how do we address it? We have to start by listening. You know, the Democrats did not win by some huge margin. They won by the thinnest of margins, just enough independents turned from Republican to Democrat in order to get Donald Trump out of office. But down-ballot, Republicans did very well, much better than expected in this election, which indicates that the electorate did not reject Republicanism, it rejected by the thinnest of margins Donald Trump. So we have to recognize that 72 million people in America still voted for this man, and they have something to say. And what are they saying? Well, they’re afraid of the effects of immigration, they’re fearful of the loss of good paying, decent blue-collar jobs that throughout America are threatened, and you know, they’re frankly afraid of the loss of white male privilege, the stuff that they grew up on and came to expect to be a normal part of society.

Well, our just and compassionate response has to begin by listening, acknowledging the fears, and attempting to compassionately shore up the insecurities that are being demonstrated. To do otherwise is, in fact, dangerous. The wounded masculine is our collective injury, it’s our wound to heal. We share in the injury, and there’s no way to deal with an injury like this other than through some loving and nurturing response. So that’s all I’ve got for this week. That’s my message. Stay tuned, we’ll see you again next week. Thanks so much.