How to Stop Giving Your Energy Away

Hi, I’m Paul Krismer. I’m your happiness expert and this week’s video is all about self-care. Sometimes, we think it’s kind of frivolous. There’s a lot of talk about self-care but who’s really got time for it anyway? Isn’t it more or less a waste of time? There are priorities I want to get to. It feels self-indulgent. These are the kind of things that come up where we rationalize not doing what we know is important. You probably heard the expression, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” If there’s nothing in you, what can you give away? So often, we’re depleting ourselves from the capacity to help others and be meaningful and contributing in the world around us because we simply have so few resources left. So, I’m emphasizing self-care in this video so that we can stay sane and we can model good self-care to our colleagues, to the staff that work with us, and maybe especially to our children if you’re a parent. So, stay tuned, I’m going to give you nine tips for good self-care.

As a coach, public speaker, and best-selling author, I teach topics just like this one all around the world. So, stay tuned and I’ll give you practical tools that you can use to make both yourself and those around you both happier and more successful. If you like this kind of content, subscribe to my channel, click the like button, and join the conversation by commenting in the spaces below. I love it when people contribute to the conversation.

Look, there’s nine tips I’m going to share with you today. The first one is that, given that we all intuitively know that self-care is important, we really do, we know that it’s important. If it is, then the first tip is, create the time. Carve it out very specifically in your schedule so that you’re prioritizing self-care is something that you do ideally a little bit every day, but at minimum, block a couple hours per week.

Tip number two, get outside. There’s all kinds of research showing that to be out in nature, going for a walk, moving our bodies is good for our mental health. So, get outside.

Number three, listen to your favorite music but with a certain intentionality. There’s so many things that we do that are kind of mundane in life. We make dinner, we clean the house, we commute in our cars. Well, why couldn’t we just use that time to listen to our favorite music with an intention? Not the radio playing in the background mindlessly, but choosing the music that we love and enjoy those moments when we’re otherwise doing things that we simply have to do.

Number four, eat well. This is the idea of being nutritious and delicious. I met a vegan friend the other day and she said, “You know, too many vegans, plant-based dieters, emphasize the suffering associated with things like kale and all the bitterness that comes with too much kale.” And she said, “Look, I emphasize strawberries over kale every day.” And I thought, “Yeah, that’s good advice. Nutritious but delicious.”

Number five, reminisce about the good times in your life. I’ve mentioned this tip before, but in my screensaver, I have family photos and moments from my family vacations, birthdays and things like that come up as the screensaver. And it just prompts me to remember these times in my life and the people in my life who are most important. So, when we have some daydreaming time, maybe deliberately think about the times when you were happiest in your life. Beautiful time to reflect.

Number six, prioritize touch. We know that some amazing and very beneficial hormones are released when we have human touch. So, prioritize physically touching somebody. That might mean it simply is cuddling on the couch while you watch TV, holding hands when you walk someplace, having sex is obviously maybe the best of all these suggestions with yourself or ideally with a partner. But, maybe even get a massage. Prioritize human touch, it’s really important.

Number seven, say no. Say no more often. Say no clearly. Be able to say no. That’s especially true for you parents. Kids are just vacuums of attention and that’s wonderful and lovely, but they need to grow some independence as well. And you need to maintain some of your time and energy for yourself. Learn to say no.

Number eight, grow a strength or a hobby. Look at the things that you’re already good at in life, that’s usually the things that you also enjoy doing, and maybe do something to further that skill set. Take a course, do some professional development, read about it or do a hobby. Do the craft works, the bead work, the painting, the woodwork that you love to do. Invest some of that time and things that you already know that you enjoy.

And number nine, because we’re tribal animals, we know how important hard-wired it is for us to maintain human connection. Call a friend. Stay connected to the people that you love. That’s especially true in the pandemic times. And don’t do it out of a sense of obligation that you need to connect with them so that they feel okay. Do it for you.

That’s it. Nine tips. Self-care. Prioritize it, schedule it, make it a part of your everyday life. Thanks for watching. Click the subscribe button, the like button, and all that stuff. We’ll see you next time. Bye for now.