Optimism Sucks (But NOT it’s alternative!)

Hi, I’m Paul Krismer, your happiness expert, and this episode is all about hope versus optimism. Is it a battle to the death, or can these two emotions coexist in peace? Of course, we want optimism. Optimism is a fantastic thing. Optimism describes a kind of a state of being, a way of viewing the world, and it’s associated with all kinds of benefits: better health, improved relationships, you’re happier. Optimism is great, but in this time of our lives, where there’s so much uncertainty, maybe optimism isn’t the ideal emotional state. Maybe there’s something better, and that’s what this week’s video is all about, so stay tuned.

As a coach, public speaker, and best-selling author, I teach topics just like this one all around the world. So, stay tuned, and I’ll give you practical tools that you can use to make both yourself and those around you both happier and more successful. So, imagine that you’re hiking up a big hill, and you’ve lost your footing, and now you’re sliding over a bit of a ledge. You’ve got something to hold on to, and you grab onto a thin, little twig of a stick, holding on to the side of this hill. Because you’re hugely optimistic, you say, “Oh, this is going to turn out fine. Everything’s going to be all right.”

Well, that might not be the wisest state of mind to have in the midst of what is factually an uncertain time. Maybe that twig isn’t strong enough to hold you. Maybe you should be cultivating a plan that can give you more solidity, like reaching out for the bigger branch, or the rock, or the way to scramble back up into safe ground. Optimism, when it’s over the top and unfiltered and not founded in realism, can actually be a bit dangerous. Investors often see this. Investors who, because they want to believe what they believe about what the market’s going to do or what a particular company is going to do, they go all in and then they find out that reality turns out to be something that they hadn’t planned for, and their optimism is dashed. They end up doing quite poorly in that particular investment. That’s the trouble with optimism. Unbridled optimism is, in fact, problematic.

I’m working with a client right now. I was just this week doing some work with them, and we were talking about the need for radical realism. Radical realism in the midst of this uncertainty, where their business, an architectural firm working across the country, is much different in today’s context than it was two months ago, pre-coronavirus. So, what does the company need right now? It’s not wishful thinking, not overly optimistic about all things will return to normal soon enough, although they might do that, but they need to be accepting and saying yes to what is really the reality right now. When we fully accept that reality, it’s amazing. Not only does it give us a certain sense of emotional calm and contentedness that I’m placing myself soundly in the realism of today, but more than that, it opens up options. Now that I’m in reality, I can see things that I wouldn’t have seen before if I was simply in the midst of the beliefs that feel more comfortable to me. Now I’m forced into a reality of what’s actually happening in the world, and options and plans move forward from there. That’s where hope is.

Hope is the sense of personal agency, that I have a role to play in bettering my circumstances, and that because I have that role to play, I can plan it. I can see and construct a pathway to get what I want. Maybe we can’t get all the things that we wish for and want in the midst of coronavirus, COVID19, and all the economic and health uncertainty, and all the things that are keeping us off kilter, but within the reality of this, can we manufacture hope? Which is this cognitively engaged sense of well-being, where I have not only a positive feeling, but I also have a sense of my own empowerment, but I have a responsibility and hope to make my plan that serves me.

So, there’s nothing wrong with optimism. Optimism is great, it’s got all kinds of benefits, but right now, if I had a choice to advise you on something, of course, have your optimistic nature if that’s your nature, but deliberately cultivate hope. Based in a radical sense of reality with what is today, and then you can make the best out of the circumstances that we’ve got today. So, I hope that message is somehow helpful, that it’s based in good positive psychology, and that it can help you look forward to navigating your next weeks and months in the midst of a world with fear and uncertainty. So, I hope that message resonated with you this week. If you like this video, click the like button, share it with your friends and family, and if you enjoy content just like this, subscribe to my channel. You get a new video every Sunday morning. Thanks so much. Bye for now.